If I Die Tomorrow
by DevlinV1
Summary: [FIN:2005] It's only been a few months since Matt & Amy broke up when Adam decides to confront Matt about what's happened. [Note: Written after the break up, but before Matt returned to WWE.]


**If I Die Tomorrow**

**By Archangel**

I have been sitting in this restaurant for about twenty minutes, have just received my food a minute or so prior and am happily chowing down… when he walks in. Cue Casablanca. Of all the restaurants in the world he had to walk into mine. And on top of that he spots me across the way as he's being seated. I stare at him… he stares at me… then he taps his waitress and gives a gesture towards me, says something… and they start over. Oh great. He wants to "talk." I sigh and look down at my food as he slides into the booth across from me.

"Hi Matt."

"Adam."

That's about as far as I hope this conversation to go, but I know it isn't going to happen. This is the first time either of us have been really civil with each other so far after all that happened. Many a time I've told my fans and even professional interviewers that if Adam were to walk up to me "it would not be pretty." Yet, here we are. Sitting in a restaurant like we always used to… but it's not how it used to be. It never will be ever again.

"Yeah, that'll be all for me. Thank you." He nods and smiles to the waitress… that disarming smile that breaks the ice for everyone he meets. How many times did he flash that smile, or even more meaningful ones, at my Amy? "I think we should talk."

"I have nothing to say to you, Adam. I've told you and Amy and the entire world that. There's simply nothing that can possibly be said to make any of it "okay" or "better." My relations with you and Amy are over."

"You still talk to Amy…" he points out.

"Not as often as everyone thinks. And I only speak to her on a level of friendship. Not even a strong friendship anymore either." I lift my eyes to him. "The two of you not only took away the love of my life, but you stole away two of my closest friends."

"Damn it, Matt! You're not the only one who's lost here!" he blurts out and I tense on instinct. "You think I'm not mourning losing a friend? God damn it, Matt, you and I were so close!"

"That didn't stop you from lying to my face and fucking the woman I love!"

He quiets at that… Shuts up real quick and sits back in the booth, his long lanky form looking cramped as always. I don't continue all of the words I wish I could say. I wish I could scream out all of my anger at him… Part of me wishes I could cry and show him how much he hurt me. But I do neither. I merely sit here waiting to see what's next.

"I'm sorry." He says quietly. "I know it's not worth anything now, but I'm sorry. I was wrong. I lied, cheated, and stole worse than a Guerrero… and I am sorry that because of my stupidity I lost one of my best friends."

"I came to you while you were injured. I called you all the time and visited whenever I could. When you were feeling better I would come take you out places and sometimes bring Amy along with me even." I feel anger and sorrow welling up in me as strong as I did the day I realized the truth. I'm shaking. "And then when I had to leave with my knee, you never called, you never came over… instead you spent every waking moment with my girlfriend. You fucked her. I know it's a two way street and she could've said no… but you could've said no too. But you didn't. And when I asked you about it directly you lied to me. I fucking asked you, "Adam, is there anything between you and Amy?" and you said, "No way, Matt! I would never move in on Amy!"

He's hanging his head. Good, I hope he's damn ashamed of himself. He starts to lean forward, but the waitress comes and sets his food in front of him. Just a sandwich, nothing big. Once she's gone, he leans forward again and reaches out, settling his hand over mine. His hand is so warm… God his touch was always so soft and warm… and he touched my Amy everywhere. I jerk my hand away with that thought.

"Matt, please… At least let me apologize."

"You just did and I reject it."

"What about your all important karma? You _have_ to forgive me!" he tries to joke around with me.

"I will _never_ forgive you," I growl as I lean forward myself, narrowing my eyes at him. "I will not forgive you even with my dying breath, Adam."

And what I see then actually shocks me. Tears… His green eyes glitter slightly and when he blinks tears roll down his face. Well, he beat me to the crying. He… he always did. He'd always cry at movies I made him watch. The Fox and the Hound damn near suffocated him he was crying so hard. And… as always… his tears sting me. I feel my anger melting away as I watch him pull back and reach for a napkin to dry his face, obviously trying hard not to really start. Shit, he's not going to do this here is he? Not here in public? But sure enough I see his shoulders shaking, his hands trembling… He's crying. Adam never makes a sound when he cries. He shakes, sniffles, and the tears fall like rain, but there's never a sound of sobbing, never a whimper… except when Owen died. That was the only time I ever saw Adam lose it. Then again, we all did.

"Matt, this is gonna sound really shitty I bet…" he starts and pauses to blow his nose. "but the biggest reason I came over here to apologize was because of Candido."

Chris Candido died just a couple days ago. It was sudden and unexpected. Right now it's suspected to be a blood clot that traveled to his brain, result of the surgery he had on his leg. A terrible loss. The entire wrestling world mourns when we lose one of ours no matter how great or small. I swallow, knowing what his point is. He wanted to apologize… just in case I die tomorrow. I open my mouth to say something, but he starts again.

"When I heard about Shannon Moore's accident the first thought that went through my head was "Oh my God, Matty could've died." I know that sounds like shit because Shannon was the one who got hurt, but I swear, Matt, all I heard was "for some reason Moore passed Hardy in his Hummer. If Hardy had been in the lead in his small Corvette it is predicted he would not have survived the crash." And fuck, Matty, that scared the holy shit out of me. Do you know what my last words to you were before now? Do you? They were _fuck you, Hardy._" He shakes his head and wipes his face again. "I couldn't… I just couldn't stand the thought that you could've died that night and the last words you heard from me were fuck you. I couldn't stand that."

Now I'm surprising even myself. I sit up and get out of the booth, move around the table and slide in next to him. I take him into my arms like I've done a thousand times before. I hold him, soothe him… and tell him yet again that Shannon and I didn't touch his damn tires. Then we're silent, just clasped together sweetly, rocking slightly as we tend to do for some reason. Some people pat your back, other people squeeze… Adam and I rock. Like mother rocks her child gently.

"You still can't forgive me, can you?" he whispers.

I sigh. "Not yet. I want to say it, Adam, to set you at ease, but it would be a lie. I can't forgive… at least not yet."

"I want the last words I say to you to be I love you." That jolts me and I know he feels it. "Calm down, Hardy, I don't have a hard on for you."

There's about a million horrible things that flash through my mind when he says that… and he knows _that _too. But I don't say any of them and that alone should mean something. He loves me. My Adam. And yes, I do still think of him as mine for some reason. He's my friend. Somehow deep down he always will be. That brings some tears to my eyes that I will try not to shed.

"I miss you," I answer his love in a whisper.

"I miss you too."

"I need to go." I say, feeling far too uncomfortable now to stay. I get up and start to pull out my wallet, but he stops me.

"I'll get it. You've paid enough."

I smile at him for that, genuinely. Maybe someday… someday all these feelings will just be memories. And then we will be friends again. Until then I give him my smile. As I walk away I faintly hear him say softly, "I love you." I turn my head enough to glance back at him.

"Motley Crue… If I Die Tomorrow. I'll sing it to you soon."

Those aren't the last words he'll hear from me. But then again, if fate makes it so that they are… at least we know that everything will be okay, if I die tomorrow.

**The End**

_Legalities: Adam Copeland, Matt Hardy, and any other mentioned characters are property of World Wrestling Entertainment. I claim no knowledge of each of the characters sexual preferences or personal lives. This is a story of fiction, none of these events are real. I received absolutely no profit from this story._


End file.
